Obsession Interrupted // Prelude to "The Rexford Ridgeline Traverse"
- Greg Luesink
- Jul 1, 2024
- 15 min read
In the spring of 2024, I had an awakening. Or maybe a revelation is more accurate. This all happened because my obsession was interrupted by some jarring life events.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Preparing for the Trip
Chapter 2: An Important Aside
Chapter 3: Final Preparations
Chapter 4: A Shift in Mindset
My "Mountain Mentality"
Since 2020, I had been building up a resume of skills and experience. Each new echelon of adventure unlocked a feeling of satisfaction, especially after a radical mountain season in 2022. I felt like I had unlocked the pinnacle life experience in alpine climbing and scrambling. Hiking into an area, climbing up difficult peaks, and watching incredible sunsets and sunrises created a sense of accomplishment like no other.
Subconsciously, perhaps even consciously, I developed the notion that alpine climbing was worth devoting all of my attention to. It became an idol in my life, and I was willing to give up a lot of things in order to pursue climbing.
After meeting Jas in 2022, and getting married in 2023, I was really stoked about adventuring with my favourite person on the planet. We got into ski touring together, which was a smashing success, and I looked forward climbing as Spring rolled in for 2024.
When we had climbed while dating, Jas had been a little timid, and didn't feel confident enough to lead climb. In my mind, if Jas and I went climbing enough, she would feel more confident and would start to love climbing, which eventually would allow us to enjoy alpine climbing together (in my head, the pinnacle experience). After getting out climbing in the Spring, Jas explained that she wasn't enjoying climbing the same way I do.
From this, I was able to lower my expectations, and put less pressure on climbing sessions with Jas. After spending every possible second together, it was a tough process of learning when to do things together while also being okay to do things separately. It truly is a game of give and take, an especially steep learning curve in our first year of marriage. Being satisfied with smaller outings and putting less eggs in one basket was a lesson that I would be learning for the entire summer.
Over the winter and into the spring of 2024, I'd been training relentlessly for a my biggest mountain traverse ever (The Rexford-Slesse High Route), devoting most of my spare time to hiking and climbing. I tried to integrate time spent with Jas along with training as much as possible. While I hauled 40 lbs of water in my pack, Jas would be hiking with me. When we went climbing, I tried to climb extra pitches while she rested. Looking back, I can say that I was obsessed. For such a big goal, the obsession was helpful in some ways. It held my focus on preparing the many logistics of a 5 day trip in the mountains, as well as physically preparing. So what made this traverse so special that I was willing to dedicate so much attention to it? More importantly, how did this obsession play out?
The Rexford-Slesse High Route
With ~60km and 7000m of undulating ridgeline and several sections of technical climbing up to 5.9, the Rexford-Slesse High Route is a daunting objective. The route was initially dreamt of by my friend Nich, shared with Ben, and adopted by me. To our knowledge, no one has ever completed this traverse, only sections. Compared to the Cheam Range Traverse, this was much more committing and challenging.
For two years, I dreamt of this route with my alpine climbing friends, explored sections of it during the Nesakwatch Enchainment and the Slesse to Pierce Traverse, and laboured over planning the route logistics. Finally, 2024 rolled from winter to spring, and it was time to really start ramping up training and practicing climbing with the team. This is where things got complicated...
Assembling The Team
In Fall of 2023, I was chatting with my friends Nich and Ben about attempting this long-dreamt of traverse. We had a couple planning nights, sorting through gear and making a rough trip itinerary (estimated 5-6 days).
With three people, we could split the load of gear and ropes, hopefully allowing us to travel lighter. Still, without food our packs were about 30-35lbs with gear and water...
The first barrier turned out to be planning the trip between very different schedules. For myself, I was about to start a new job, so I had the most flexibility for my start date. Ben worked a typical Monday to Friday job, while Nich was in paramedic school... and working 4 on 4 off. To make matters more complicated, we invited our friend Joseph to join us, and he worked 2 weeks on 2 weeks off in Northern BC. We settled on all taking time off at the end of June, hoping that enough snow would be melted to have dry rock, but enough remaining to have a water supply on the high ridge.
Training
After ski touring season petered out, training transitioned from skin-tracks to trails. I was hiking several days a week with at least one hike carrying 35 to 40 lbs of water up 1000m, dumping it, and hiking down. I also tried to climb outside twice a week, one day of sport and another of trad. Some days I would combine climbing followed by weighted hiking for alpine simulation days. I got out as much as I could with Ben, Nich, and Joseph for hiking and climbing, and things were falling into place for a radical adventure!
That's when things started to collapse.
Disaster Strikes
The first hit was when Nich suddenly needed minor surgery. After a consult with his surgeon, he ruled out the trip due to recovery and lack of time to continue training afterwards.
Well shucks. But at least Ben and possibly Joseph were still in... right?
Near the end of May, Ben and I went for a multi-pitch climb at The Grid. On the second pitch, Ben took a fall and sprained his ankle. He was able to limp back to the car, but it didn't look good. After a physio consult, Ben was told it was a high ankle sprain and that he wouldn't be hiking again until mid-July... Unable to continue training, and unable to even get back on his feet for the trip, Ben was also ruled out.
Finally, Joseph, about to become a dad, had some last minute renovations to finish before his wife gave birth. Alas, he had to bail as well.
I guess that was it. No partners equals no trip. But then I started thinking... perhaps my friend Mike was free after his last semester of school?
Hold that thought. There's an important aside to address.
Obsession Interrupted
By this time, it was June. Jas and I were flying out to Saskatchewan for my best friend Brendan's wedding with his bride-to-be, Megan. I was dreading the missed opportunity for training, but decided that it was alright to take a rest week. After spending a few days in the flat-lands, we realized that it wasn't so bad afterall. Sure, the landscape was dull and flat as a pancake, but the people are still amazing and there is something to be said about a sunset on the prairies. Jas and I ended up enjoying the trip more than we expected. Obviously the wedding was a blast and it was very special to be there for the Heppells, but we also discovered a new kind of adventure flying in a plane and exploring Saskatoon on foot. All in, I didn't feel like I'd lost out on much, especially after being so worried about missing training.
Burdensome News
When we got back home to Chilliwack, and I got a text from a friend asking if I could call. I picked up the phone, unsure what for. He informed that a mutual friend had been missing in the mountains for a few days. As I write this in 2025, we now know that after climbing a difficult peak, three climbers were caught in an avalanche descending from the summit. It took over a month to recover their bodies since a storm hit and made Search and Rescue efforts impossible for over a week. This was rather disturbing news and it sent shockwaves through me.
Tragic events such as this can't help but stir everyone connected, no matter how distant. It provokes a reassessment of every assumption of risk and safety that we hold in the mountains. Every shard of assurance disintegrates; nothing is certain. A falling rock, collapsing snow, a raging storm: it doesn't take much to be overwhelmed by the elements. Just bad timing.
There were several stages of thought that followed the news. First, trying to comprehend that someone I knew (albeit someone I had only recently met) was missing. Second, trying to assess how the accident might've happened, and what mistakes might've been made that led to the unfortunate event. Third, trying to justify my own endeavours into the mountains, and what measures to take to avoid the same fate.
Was all of this worth the risk of losing my life?
Ultimately, the realization was that life is more than mountains. Sound obvious, right? Well, I'm embarrassed to admit it, but sometimes I forget it.
The Epiphany
It took a plane ride to Saskatoon and a horribly tragic loss to jolt my often singular focus away from the next big traverse or summit. It's not that mountain adventures are bad, it's just that they don't matter that much in the grand scheme of life.
I have a new appreciation for life. Where before I was borderline unhappy if I didn't have my weekly trip into the mountains, after this event, I focused on being content with non-mountain things. Like what? Well, it turns out that simple activities bring a lot of joy if I let them. Before, I would be nearly upset if I didn't get out climbing every opportunity, or hiking. After, I started to look at simple things through a new lense, one of appreciation and gratitude.
Shortly after all of this transpired, Jas and I went on a short bike ride with my brother and his wife, and their two wonderful toddlers. We rode to the local ice-cream shop and then got our feet wet in the river. It wasn't hard, I only sweat because it was 30˚C out. But we really had a great time. After, Jas and I went canoeing with Ben at Chilliwack Lake. This was also not a "difficult" adventure, but it was simple and enjoyable and an excellent use of time.
A really neat occurrence was that Ben was arriving at the exact same conclusions as me, of his own accord. He had also come to appreciate the joy of simple things like hiking a mile to a waterfall, or canoeing on a lake. While they aren't outrageous adventures, they are memorable and special in their own way.
For years, I was enthralled by the progression I was experiencing in the mountains. From 2020 onwards, I was doing harder things and more things each year. Whether that be biking further or climbing harder summits, I was upping the ante with each season.
But the law of diminishing returns is inevitable. There is an undeniable point of limitation, whether that be time, skill, motivation, etc. You simply can't keep doing more and more year after year!
This thought was important for me.
Mountains have a way of collecting, condensing, and consolidating life experiences. Overcoming adversity, navigating your way, reaching the peak, and trudging through the valleys. The highs and lows experienced over the course of several years can be felt in one day. Mountains can be a reprieve from everyday life, a reset, and provide reinvigoration. This allure brings so many people to love mountains and dedicate their time, money, and energy to being there. Mountains are a way to spend time enjoying company with friends, basking in nature, challenging oneself physically and mentally, and processing the complexities of life amidst a very different set of challenges.
However, while mountains are meant to add to life, to accentuate and add flavour to it, they are not meant to become the focus of life. As soon as mountains start taking away from your life (skipping a wedding, bumping dinner plans, and chasing weather windows), they start to pull us away from other things that are deeply important that exist away from forested slopes and rocky cliffs. And what's stopping mountains, once they start to take away from your life... from taking your life?
I don't believe that anyone intends on letting the mountains end their life. In fact, we take very deliberate steps to stay safe. But, there is no way of predicting every possible outcome, and accidents happen to the best of us. Whenever we step out into the mountains, we are accepting a degree of risk, whether we are aware of it or not.
So, while we can't just exist in a state of fear at every turn, we also must frequently take stock of what matters most and decide what is worth the risk.
For myself, I think that life well lived includes mountains. I just don't want mountains to consume me. I'd much rather experience life to the fullest, which ultimately means choosing to live a long life rather than a bold one. I want a family, and I want to share the joys of adventure with my children one day, and that is worth surviving for.
All that said, my mindset had shifted greatly in regard to this upcoming adventure. I was still very excited to go, but I had these things in the back of my mind.
A Timely Replacement Partner
I'd spent early Spring climbing with my friend Mike, even developing a new route together. Incidentally, I climbed with Mike at The Grid a week before Ben's injury.
I texted Mike about the traverse and he replied immediately, eager to make it happen. I was able to bump my time off with work and it aligned perfectly with Mike's schedule. The traverse was back on!! Excitedly, I continued making preparations, buying food and planning where to hike in the drop bags of supplies. After a quick phone call, we settled on an itinerary for ~5 days in the mountains, which was quite a lot of food in addition to climbing gear. Thus, drop bags were necessary to provide sufficient fuelling along the way. Time for some more scouting of the traverse...
Route Recon
I'd covered some of the ridge on each side before: in 2022 during the Nesakwatch Enchainment with Ben and the Labour Day Buttress Climb with Ben, and in 2023 during the Slesse-to-Pierce Traverse with Brennan. Mike and I also had been to the Nesakwatch side together to climb Dairyland in 2023.
Thus, I was quite familiar with several of the cruxes and had at least laid eyes on most of the terrain from near and far. But, there was still 70% of the ridgeline that I had not touched, which left a lot of unanswered questions. I scoured the internet for beta on the Illusion gap, and reached out to local encyclopedia Drew as well as alpine route developer Andy for some information and photos.
While having much of the trip be mystery was intriguing, I much prefer to have all my ducks in a row and "rehearse" as much as possible of a route. Especially for a commiting route of this magnitude. When Ben and I did the Cheam Range Traverse in 2022, we had already summited every peak and left only two sections untouched prior to the trip. That factor contributed greatly to our success, and I wasn't confident that the Rexford-Slesse High Route was going to work out based on how many unknowns there were.
Delusional Approach
To take out one less variable, I decided to scout the approach to the ridgeline, starting up towards Delusion Peak from the road just before the turnoff to Centre Creek FSR. I bushwhacked and meandered up deer trails until I hit the alpine. After about 4 hours, I plodded up some snowy slopes until I could see southbound...
My jaw dropped... the view was so stunning!
I'd discovered one of the best viewpoints in the valley, boasting full panorama views of the Cheam Range, but most importantly of Slesse, and Rexford. Notably, both were still splattered with snow. It was June 7th, so there was still just less than a month left before the trip. I was hoping that a lot of the snow would melt in the upcoming weeks. Slesse was still speckled with snow on it's NE aspects, and the glaciers below the sheer walls were crumbling in the heat. It was hard to say what the ridgeline would be like. Sometimes snow can make mountain travel easier, but just as often it impedes progress with mushy conditions and post-holing through the snow.
This was one of my most out-there solo hikes, bushwhacking off trail the entire time, and covering 11km and 1500m of elevation in about 8 hours. I went up and down the absolute steepest forest I'd ever set foot in: 45˚ in some places! Thankfully I thumbed a ride from a passing truck so I didn't have to walk the whole FSR back to the car.
I continued climbing and hiking in June, including a summer solstice solo hike from home to Mt Cheam, what a wild day! Fitness was peaking nicely before the big trip, but I still had a few more things to do.
Drop Bags
The next step in the grand plan was hiking in bags of food and supplies. The route layout was helpful since the Rexford and Slesse ridgelines run parallel to each other and conveniently share a trailhead. I was able to plan for two hike days hauling about 30 lbs of food into a drop location to be picked up by Mike and me at the end of day 1, and at the end of day 3. First up was the Labour Day drop bag.
Labour Day Drop Bag
In 2020 (4 years prior), this would have been my top adventure of the entire year. Now, after much more experience, it was totally within my comfort zone. Ben was very kind and had lent me his 4x4 vehicle to drive to the trailhead. I set off solo up the Slesse Memorial Trail. I executed my plan exactly as expected, rappelling a small cliff and leaving the rope to ascend on the way back out, and dropping the bag on the ridge just south of Labour Day Horn, which Ben and I had climbed in 2022. Aside from getting soaked on the hike in from the rain-laden bushes, the day went well!
It was very cloudy when I hiked in, but the sky began to open up as I exited, revealing some spectacular views of the Rexford side. At the memorial plaque, I looked back at Slesse, ominously shrouded in clouds. All in, the day was about 8 hours total time.
Rexford Drop Bag
The next day, Jas and I headed back to the same trailhead, this time headed up to the Rexford Basin. The Rexford Trail is quite steep, which I much prefer to the time-consuming switchbacks on the Slesse Memorial Trail. We climbed higher and higher into the sub-alpine, finally emerging into the rocky talus slopes in the Nesakwatch/Rexford bowl. It was Jas' first time there, so she was quite astonished by all of the incredible granite towers. We dropped the bag, and continued a little further to explore and enjoy the time outside together. It had forecast to rain, but not a single drop fell on our heads - what a blessing!
A Pivotal Conversation
My headspace had changed after news of the friend's death. I wasn't gung-ho to put my life on the line to summit some mountain. I wanted to do the traverse, but I was certainly more wary than before.
While hiking in a drop-bag of food for the traverse, Jas and I were talking about an even bigger goal that I'd been dreaming of: linking up all 70 summits in the Chilliwack River Valley in one push. A goal of this scale would take the better part of a month! Basically all of my adventures had been with this goal in mind, putting together the puzzle pieces for something insane.
Jas and I had talked about this dream before, so it wasn't a surprising topic. This time, I asked her what she was thinking. After a moment's pause, she said,
It's a bit overwhelming. How are we going to pay for that long of a trip? Will I be working? Will I even get to see you?
All of the sudden, the grand scheme started to make zero sense. Considering that 5 days worth of food cost $350 for me, 3+ weeks of food would be well over $1,500 for one person. I had initially thought that I could take time off work before going to physio school if I got in. But, if Jas was working, we wouldn't see each other much during the 3 weeks. Logistically, it just didn't make sense. All it took was for Jas to tell me that she was overwhelmed by the idea for me to see the glaring issues through my rose-coloured glasses.
So, in a moment of mental clarity, I simply said:
Jas, it sounds like there is one option: I'm just not going to do the 70-peak mega traverse.
Jas was shocked. She knew how long I'd been planning this for. Every single outing in the Chilliwack River Valley was directed at scouting for the mega traverse. So, this was a big thing to let go of, and Jas knew that. Still, I felt peace about it, and said to Jas,
I don't want you to feel like you've taken the wind out of my sails, Jas. I actually feel like you've just given me a new and better wind to point the sailboat.
Jas was incredibly relieved to hear this, and we fell into a deep peace about the whole situation.
As for the upcoming traverse from Rexford to Slesse: it was meant as the last big scouting mission before the Mega Traverse of the entire Chilliwack River Valley. Thus, some of the purpose had been taken away, leaving the motivation a little lower than before. However, all of the pieces were in place, and it was finally time to pack up the gear and pray that the weather would stay sunny for the first week of July. This thing was happening!
Stayed tuned to hear about the Traverse!
Obsession Interrupted - A Poem
Mountains have always been
Places of spirituality
They accentuate life
Give perspective, appreciation
Mountains are a sanctuary for thought
The only sounds, birds and wind.
The only smells, trees and dirt.
Free of distractions, there is time to process
All the messiness of life with people
And yet
Lonely, remote, cold, imposing
Mountains help rekindle a yearning for home
Yes, mountains and civilization are in contrast
Each offering reprieve from the other
After the lonely mountain, seeking human connection
After the stress of people, seeking solitude
Life's chaos may dictate
The frequency of reprieve
Spent in the mountains
But don't let mountains become the focus
Distracting from real life - people at home
Mountains can be treacherous, terrifying
amidst their beauty and wonder
Storms, avalanches, falling rock
The power of mountains
Can snuff a life like a candle
If you give your life to the mountains,
They may take it without asking
This is the tension of adventure
The yearning for escape
Can turn to obsession
Obsession can blind judgement
And blindness in the mountains is fatal
Life may gift an interruption
To see past the obsessions
To reconsider, to rebalance
Choose a life filled with many things
People, family, friends
Hard work, play, music, culture
Fairth, passion, and more
Make mountains a medium for connection
Not just a space to disconnect
Comments